Saying No to the Culture of Death

There are many benefits that come from being able to knit and crochet. Amongst those benefits is the relaxation and the satisfaction that comes from finishing a project. I have discovered that knitting is also good for turning around depression and it also helps with cognition and brain fog issues. There is another less well known benefit because knitting and crochet are good for weight control. 

My recent surge and return to knitting came about because it is summer here in Australia.It has been too hot to do much in the way of housework. My husband had been nagging me about my stash of yarns. He wants me to get rid of my stash, and I am not going to throw it out so I have been knitting. However, I cannot knit or crochet for long periods at a time because of pain issues. So, I started to knit for a bit, whilst sitting on a chair under the pergola, and then I go for a walk around the pool. I am using a pedometer and I am making sure that I go for the 10,000 steps as often as possible. My pedometer also records aerobic activity and I have to walk for 10 minutes before the activity is recorded. This is added incentive to try and do at least the 10 minutes of aerobic activity during the day. As an added bonus I have brought the dog into the act, popped on her leash and walked her around the pool. She now demands her walk, but she is a slacker and she only goes a few rounds. 

Since November when I first began to walk around the pool, after getting my new orthotics, I have managed to begin the task of controlling my weight. It is not an easy task and when I see the way that my weight spikes I could easily become discouraged. However, I am not discouraged because there is a downward trend in the weight spikes, that is the highest weight that I reach in a week is tracking downwards. This is good news and it is proof that walking in a confined space is beneficial for my health.

Since I have some serious health issues, especially since my cholesterol levels have gone seriously out of whack and it is for this reason that my doctor is encouraging me to walk despite the other pain issues, such as enthesitis and bursitis that have arisen my legs and feet. I had some serious hip pain issues but the new x-rays were fine and showed no signs of the sacroiliitis. My doctor thinks that it is hip bursitis, but I am not sure. Either way, I am working through the pain and continuing to walk. The walking is paying dividends and the knitting is also paying dividends.

 I have been knitting baby booties because they are a self contained small project and to date I have knitted over 40 pair. I need some new shoes and my husband will not pay for them because they are worth more than $200 and he does not spend that much on his own shoes, but he does not have my foot problems. I have arthritis in my feet and in summer they tend to swell in the heat and the humidity. I have wide feet and that means that average shoes are out of the question. I am determined that I will purchase those shoes. I am selling my booties for $10.00 per pair.

Woe is me, why did I have to fracture my coccyx again?Since that fateful day when I slammed into the edge of the pool I have been in quite a bit of pain. The good news is that I can sit down for longer periods at a time, so long as the seat is not made of wood. 

We have just celebrated Christmas and that means going to Midnight Mass, but we have to be early to ensure that we get a parking spot in an appropriate place and of course there are Carols that precede the Mass for about 30 minutes. The wooden pews are not very friendly to my situation. So I greeted people at the door and wished them a Merry Christmas. This only adds strain to my back and feet, but I have to weigh up the situation and make my own decisions. The following morning I attended the 9.00 am Mass as I have been doing for several years. So, I get there early and greet the people at the door. I was also one of the readers but I let my partner carry in the Sacramentary and then he did the prayers of the faithful. In that way I did not have to mount the steps too often. Then, because there were not enough Ministers of the Eucharist I helped with that particular role, which is not so bad because I am moving around to the back of the church before moving to the front again, and that means that I am not standing still.

My exercises in the swimming pool are going well and I am trying to do as much as I can to ease the possibility of muscle spasm. However, nothing can stop the pain that comes on when there is a change of weather, especially in this Sydney humidity. Lately I have noticed the overwhelming pain in my back and feet a few hours prior to the start of the rain. I can be fine and then suddenly, like a bolt out of the blue I am in shocking pain and barely able to walk. Sometimes this causes my legs to feel a little on the weak side and when this happens I use my walking stick. Once the rain comes I am normal again.

This sensation is nothing new because I experienced this when I lived in Townsville for a year. What is new is the level of pain around the sacroiliac joint due to the stress and the strain that is brought about by the humidity. It hurts!! Now of course, all of the progress that I have made with my feet in the past two months has been stalled and I am back to very painful feet. I wonder if that has anything to do with the amount of walking that I have been doing since about mid-November. This week I achieved 10,000 steps three times in a row. On Thursday I managed over 11,000 steps plus my time in the hydrotherapy pool, which brought my total activity level to over 14,000 steps!! However, my feet are telling me that this is more than they can tolerate. They are aching like one thing, so I assume that the arthritis is active. This is no doubt a sign that more rain is on the way today. I am aching because of the increase in humidity levels here in Sydney. My back has not taken too kindly to the wooden seats again today but at least it is not hurting all that much.

One of the disadvantages of hurting where one has to sit down is that speed bumps and driveways have become a real pain. I have to go at a crawl to get over the speed bumps without jolting my bottom. It is the same with the driveways. It does not take much to cause pain when entering into a driveway, and I am talking about excruciating pain that causes me to wince and want to cry out from the shock of that pain. Surely the situation can only get better in the future, but until it does get better I have to get used to these pain levels.

If I thought that the wooden pews in the church were bad, then the plastic seats that are to be found in the hall are all that much worse. I cannot sit on the plastic seats for more than about 10 minutes at a time before the pain in my lower back begins to really start nagging. It is impossible to attend any function in the church hall, even though I have gone BYOC (bring your own cushion). I have a waffle cushion plus a round cushion placed together in a bag and I take that with me when going to Mass, but it does not provide relief inside the hall.

A poster has left a message questioning my stand on voluntary euthanasia. The reader claims that he has ankylosing spondylitis and that he cannot cope with the pain. As one who has Ankylosing Spondylitis, and who is a member of support groups for people with AS or who think that they might have AS, I am well aware of the pain involved. Yes, it is not easy dealing with the pain of arthritis, but there are remedies available for those who have intense pain.

Suicide is a coward's way of dealing with a situation that involves pain and suffering.  Arranging for someone else to supply the means of suicide, and administering the drugs that would allow a death to take place is also a coward's way out - for in such a case it cannot be called suicide, but the one who has assisted in the death could face charges of intentional homicide or murder.

Acceptance of the condition that is causing the pain is the first way of dealing with the pain levels associated with Ankylosing Spondylitis. If someone is in denial of the condition, then a negative attitude towards helping oneself will only intensify the pain. It has been said that how we experience pain is all in the head, and yes, there is some truth to this statement, because if we cannot accept the condition, we feel more anxious about the intense pain that we feel.  The next step after acceptance is to set goals for dealing with the condition and to ensure that one does not end up being fused in the wrong position.

One of the keys for dealing with any form of arthritis, whether it is RA, OA or AS or some other form, is regular exercise at the level that one can exercise, on a daily basis. Exercise helps to maintain a healthier lifestyle, and it has a lot of major benefits for people with arthritis. One of the benefits is that a person ceases to feel sorry for oneself. In the case of someone with AS, one of the best forms of exercise is swimming, preferably in a hydrotherapy pool. There is a lot of benefit to be had from regular hydrotherapy.

Other ways of dealing with AS or any other form of arthritis is the regular administration of drugs such as those in the NSAID group, or the DMARD or the biologics such as Remicade and Humira. Most of these drugs have unwanted side effects, and it is important to make sure that one is able to have the required treatment. Even something as simple as Celebrex requires that one follows the given instructions very carefully, and that any symptoms of side effects are noted and reported. I have heard from many people who report getting relief through the use of Remicade and Humira. In my own case, I remain on Celebrex and an exercise regime that helps me to deal with the condition. 

Having a team of supporters is also helpful in dealing with the pain of AS. It is important to have family members understand what is happening and how it affects the individual. It is not easy dealing with daily pain. It is not easy dealing with fatigue, or the other symptoms of an auto-immune disorder. It is extremely difficult dealing with such a condition when one feels that there is no support or understanding from one's spouse or family members. This lack of support can also impact upon one's pain levels. Therefore, it is necessary to have supporters, even if that support is through an Internet support group such as KickAS. More than anything else we need understanding from people around us.

I am currently in an arthritis flare that has lasted for the past 5 weeks. The flare began on the weekend that we went to see Swan Lake on Ice. On the Saturday morning I had traipsed around the shopping centre buying some nice things to wear in the evening, as well as arranging to have my hair cut and coloured. The flare itself was very intense because of the pain in my feet. One of my signs that I am in flare is the retention of fluid, and yes this was happening because I was not getting enough to drink. The Lyric Theatre at the casino in Sydney is quite nice but the seating is uncomfortable. By the end of the evening with such magical skating on show, I needed help to rise from the chair. My feet were in intense agony. However, it was the next morning when things got worse, and not only did I have difficulty walking, but I found myself almost tottering as first one hip and then the other seemed to give way. For the past 5 weeks I have had intense heel and foot pain, mostly in the left foot. When I had work, I found that I struggled to walk if I remained sitting for long periods at a time. The drive to and from the workplace put more stress on my body as I strived to cope with this flare. Owing to the time I left work and then drove home, I did not have the time to get to the hydrotherapy pool, and yes I suffered as a result of the lack of hydrotherapy exercise. My flare has also meant that I have had the most intense head pain imaginable, for the pain is in fact coming from the neck.

As a Catholic, I have learned to deal with this level of pain by offering up my suffering for the sake of the lives of others. At the same time I need to use other coping mechanisms in order to deal with the intensity of the pain that I have been experiencing. One such mechanism is simply to acknowledge the pain, as well as the intensity of the pain, and then to relax. One can also use breathing techniques, yoga, Tai-Chi, and a variety of methods for deep breathing and relaxation so that one can cope better with the pain (I have not been using these methods).  Also, in my own situation I recognize that must continue the effort to lose weight.  This is a catch-22 because the foot pain prevents me from walking any distance, and I cannot cope with walking up and down slopes. I manage with the stairs at home, but even getting up and down these stairs on my bad days is difficult.

Feeling sorry for oneself due to such a disease is not going to help the situation. One needs to be proactive in regard to dealing with the condition of arthritis so that one stays in control, rather than the disease being in control. Feeling sorry for oneself and wanting to commit suicide is a negative way of dealing with the condition of Ankylosing Spondylitis. The self-pity shows that such an individual is extremely selfish and desires a high level of attention. One can remain active so long as the disease is being brought under control but to bring the disease under control there is a need for total co-operation with one's doctors. Being in the workforce is difficult because any form of arthritis has a tendency to slow down one's reflexes. It also means that the more able-bodied within the workplace tend to view a person with arthritis as being too slow, which is of course, a form of discrimination against that person. 

As a person living with the pain of arthritis in my back, I recognize that I have limitions. However, that does not stop me from giving service to others. In my own parish I am active as a reader, and I am co-ordinator of the readers. I am also active as a Special Minister of the Eucharist, and I serve those who are not able to walk up to receive the Eucharist. I find that I cope best when I am walking around finding those who are not able to walk too far, than standing in the one spot. The standing causes intense pain in my feet. So long as I am able to serve others in this way, then I will continue to serve them. There are times when the pain is so intense in my feet and hips that I am not able to stand during the Gospel and at other places where we are required to stand. I do my best on a daily basis. I prefer to serve God to be selfish by indulging in self-pity because of the pain of my arthritis.

Anyone who believes that the religious thing is "BS" is one who is so utterly selfish and such a person is free to remain in his or her selfishness but has no right to involve others in his or her desire to commit the ultimate act of selfishness known to mankind - suicide. Voluntary euthanasia is something that is totally selfish in that the people who propose such action do so for utterly selfish reasons. Even the notion of lack of dignity because of such conditions as Alzheimer's Disease or ALS is based upon extremely selfish reasoning.

In order to live with this form of pain one needs to stop acting out of self-pity and selfishness. One needs to learn to acknowledge the pain and get on with living, instead of wallowing in self-pity. We do not have a very long time on this earth and we need to always do the best that we can in order to serve others, and not just ourselves.  

My oldest son is engaged to be married to a girl from New Zealand. We are very excited for the young couple. My son notified us that Mary's parents were coming to Melbourne in time for her birthday, and we were asked to come to Melbourne to meet them. We decided to make the trip by car, and so it was with trepidation that we approached the coming journey.

I told my friends that we were going to Melbourne for our version of "Meet the Fockers", and of course this generated a lot of laughs from those friends. I have not seen either of the movies, and I had no intention of behaving outrageously. It is just that this is something that the opposing parents do before their respective children commit themselves to marriage. The meeting was a huge success, and Lindsay and Diana thought that it was quite funny to say it was our version of "Meet the Fockers".

I approached the idea of travelling by car with some trepidation because of the physical changes in the past year. I had purchased a mesh back support that was made in China. It is the best thing for my back. Since it is portable, and I use it on my desk chair, I decided to use it in the car. I had next to nothing in the way of problems associated with stiffness, despite the length of the journey. This is very good news.

The other road test was that of a shampoo that does not contain the harsh chemicals such as the laurel sulphate. I have dandruff, and it has been a problem since I was about 9 years old. I can recall my mother using that disgusting product called Selsun (it was sulpha based). I used to cry when she washed my hair because that stuff used to get in my eyes. A pharmacist recommended a tar based shampoo, which gave some good results. There were other anti-dandruff products on the market and I had mixed success and failures when I used them. In a period spanning more than 40 years I have tried almost all of the products on the open market, including Amway and Avon. Some products worked for a time but it really was only for a short time. The latest and newest ingredient is piroctone olamine, and I have had some good successes by using products that contain the ingredient. One of the problems with anti-dandruff shampoos, and especially the tar based products is that they are harsh on the hair. However, when I used an organic based shampoo, from Eden Organics in Melbourne, I was both pleased and surprised to find that my hair felt so very clean and that the dandruff had been cleared. Well, it is not 100% clear, but there is very little dandruff on my scalp at the present time. This should be welcome news for people with this kind of problem. Go ahead and try a product that does not contain the harsh chemicals.