Saying No to the Culture of Death

Spousal abuse is a problem that exists in a large number of families. It is common amongst families where there is a fundamentalist attitude towards religion, especially within Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Within Christianity, for example, a fundamentalist will interpret the writings of St. Paul as meaning that the husband has full control over the wife, and that she must always do what he says. This kind of abuse includes dictating what a woman must wear in public. The imposition of Sharia law upon women who are Muslim has been extremely abusive towards the women who fail to comply with what is required.

I have read of examples of the Sharia Law abuse of women. For example, in Afghanistan the women are no longer allowed to practice their professions. They are not allowed to attend school under the Taliban. Teachers are being killed by the outlawed Taliban because they have female students in their classrooms. Whilst the Taliban was in control of Afghanistan, the women there have testified, that if a woman showed even the tiniest bit of flesh at ankle height, they were taken away and beaten to the point of near death. They have also suffered other indignities at the hands of the Taliban abusers. The story from Afghanistan has been repeated elsewhere, especially where the burqa is expected to be worn.

The reasons for such abuse are of course quite complex. There is that hidden desire to be the stronger member of the relationship and even the most tolerant partner can wind up being abusive towards a spouse. It always happens in little ways, such as constant, nagging criticisms. The problem happens to be that once these criticisms start, they never stop.  Suddenly the spouse becomes the scapegoat for everything else that is going wrong in the world. Lack of understanding of a situation can contibute to this abusive behaviour. What is not clear to me, however, is how much of a factor is spousal abuse when it comes to the statistics on divorce. If people do not recognize the abusiveness of the partner, or simply continues to ignore the comments yet deep inside carries the wounds from the abusive words, then the impact of spousal abuse continues to remain a hidden shame in society.

Men and women get jealous of their partners. This jealousy can be a cover up for that person's own imperfections and behaviour. The imperfections are then projected onto the spouse, until the other partner cannot take any more of what is being dished out. If the family unit is one where the husband believes that he has absolute power over his wife and his children then the potential for an abusive situation is extremely high. Some religious cults are based upon allowing this form of abuse to happen. I name the Jehovah's Witnesses as one cult where the father is literally allowed to abuse both wife and children. This is a part of the hold that the cult has over the whole family because the abuse also happens on that next level that involves the officials at Kingdom Hall.  The level of abuse is also obvious to the observer amongst other cult members, such as the Brethren, for the wives actually go around with scarves on their heads. This leads me back to the Muslims for in that cult, the men also have full control over the wife and family. If a Muslim girl went out with a Christian boy against her family's wishes then her life could be placed in peril. Yes, it has happened. At least one girl, here in Australia, has been stabbed to death by family members becaue the girl went on a date with an unapproved boy. The notion that brings shame on the family is a sign of the dysfunctional family within the world of Islam. There are other signs:

1. the woman who wears a veil or burqa despite the lack of Sharia law;

2. the women must walk 10 paces behind the man

These things are abusive, yet the women seem to allow it and even want it to happen. Again this is a sign that these are people who are dysfunctional at the family level.